Famous faces recruited for Ice Age 4 where neither fame nor looks are relevant

April 27, 2011

Jeremy Renner, the recklessly bland star of The Hurt Locker, is amongst the disappointing bevy of Hollywood stars that have been attached to the next film in the Ice Age franchise, indicating that producers still think the star power sells CGI kiddie romps. They forget that children can be dazzled by something as simple as a show about a menial postal worker and his yokel associates. Or dogs rutting in the street.

Joining Renner is irrelevant booty possessor Jennifer Lopez, apparently cast as a sabre tooth tiger which will presumably have big lashes to identify its femininity and hopefully not smeared lipstick or tits.

Parents will be subjected to the emotionless squawking of the tanned elite in July 2012 when Ice Age: Continental Drift hits cinemas. Meanwhile movie executives will use the rigid bodies of redundant voice actors as mallets to thwack croquet balls around their expansive gardens and paint the flowers a violent shade of puce.

Follow on Twitter @joejwest


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