Schwarzenegger commits to Terminator sequel

April 27, 2011

Sagging American politician Arnold Schwarzenegger is taking the improbable step of turning his hand to the lowly profession of acting for yet another sequel in the long running Robopocalyse saga Terminator.

He has teamed with Fast Five director Justin Lin and is apparently doddering around tinsel town looking for a studio to back the project.

At 63 he is definitely amongst the elder statesmen of action, which is interesting given that he has also been an actual elder statesman of statesmen. I’ll be interested to see how they explain the fact that he has aged when he is playing an indestructible cyborg from the future.

Arnie is just one of the many 80s movie stars who are refusing to throw in the towel, which by this point must be soaked in iodine and other old-timey non-remedies. Bruce Willis, who now looks like a sort of sad carving of himself, and Sylvester Stallone, who looks like an engorged penis with a face, are both still plugging away at Lady Cinema, thrusting into her once moist loins with increasingly abrasive strokes as if to show that stopping would be somehow fatal.

I’m actually in favour of Arnie’s reinstatement as a muscle-bound celluloid star because, as John Prescott has proved time after time, few people can throw a punch like a politician.

Follow on Twitter @joejwest

via Total Film

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